Social media psychology – why ‘Like’ is all about recognition

“We shouldn’t think that way but we do because we’re fundamentally relational” said Balick.

He referred to psychoanalyst Jessica Benjamin’s definition of recognition being about a person’s need to ‘affirm, validate, acknowledge, know, accept, understand, empathise, identify, find..’ So many of social media’s actions – from shares to retweets, upvotes to comments – are motivated by this need for recognition. “Online is a really great example of what egos are doing and what they need,” said Balick explaining how social media appeals to the outward facing aspect of the ego.

The consequence is, it casts a shadow: there is the seen (the idealised version of ourselves we project and promote) and the unseen (the more shameful side, our deficits, what we don’t want people to see).

He argued that even the selfie – the online phenomenon of 2013 – may look spontaneous but “this is paradox as a lot of care goes into it”.

“There is no single self; they are all presentations and aspects of the self. Egos are performative – outward facing and acting and people are invested in their outward facing identity online,” said Balick.